Today is 170 days I’ve been off methadone. I have virtually no physical symptoms of detox left nagging me. I won’t lie though, everything is not okay. That may seem surprising, but is it really? I don’t think so. Nobody being honest says life is always easy. There will always be problems. The good is that I now have the strength and fortitude to face the problems instead of cover them under a methadone blanket.

One of these problems can be getting to re-know others. I am not the same person I was on methadone; not even a little. I am a brand new person, and while that is great for me, it leaves some asking, “who the fuck is that?” What I mean is this: If I met someone while I was on opiates, they never really knew me. I never really knew them either. Who’s fault is it? Doesn’t matter because it’s still a problem needing to be dealt with.

I am dealing with the problem. but the outcome as yet, is uncertain. No matter what, I can still live in peace because I know nothing will be masked or buried. Problems will be solved, and I will be happy through it all. Funny how I once thought the pink liquid was all I needed to be happy. Makes me laugh now. Real life baby! That’s as high as I’ll ever need to be. So thankful to be where I am- truly!

5 responses to “Life

  1. I love how I have noticed the same thing. And the thing is, not only did no one know me, but I didn’t even know myself! I have all the different feelings and interests and ways of thinking, it’s beautiful. I am so happy that you are nearly 6 months sober! If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to come to me.
    Take Much Care!

  2. Very nice!! Same with me Ivy!

  3. Terry Willett

    Thanks for your post many of us who have had to be anchored to a methodone clinic draw hope from your experience. I’m in day 17 of being completely off . I started this detox in on January 20th 2016 after drinking that poison for 23 years. I’ve been clean for the past 11 years except for the juice, 75 mgs. I really don’t want to give anyone advice because everyone is different and handles their situation different. I am feeling somewhat better but I’m sure I have a long.road ahead. I keep trying to make myself do things but I get exhausted easy. I know I’m not turning back I been through to much already. I did a lot of research looking for the best way to go about this. I found out that it sucks and that’s the truth but I know it will be the best thing I’ve ever done. Again thanks

    • You’re very welcome Terry. You are very right about everyone being different. The exhaustion was an issue for me too. I would say it took about 90 days for me to feel decent again, however, every day was just a tiny bit better than the last. Make sure to take vitamins and drink lots. Force yourself to get up and be active; even when you feel like you can’t. Good luck bro!

      • Terry Willett

        Thanks Aashton, I’ve been able to eat well for a few days now, that has made a big difference. I’ve been slamming smart water by the gallon. Once my stomach settled I haven’t had a bad day just get fatigued really fast. I know it’s a process, and the end results will mean I’ll have my life back.
        Thanks for your support

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