Today is 170 days I’ve been off methadone. I have virtually no physical symptoms of detox left nagging me. I won’t lie though, everything is not okay. That may seem surprising, but is it really? I don’t think so. Nobody being honest says life is always easy. There will always be problems. The good is that I now have the strength and fortitude to face the problems instead of cover them under a methadone blanket.
One of these problems can be getting to re-know others. I am not the same person I was on methadone; not even a little. I am a brand new person, and while that is great for me, it leaves some asking, “who the fuck is that?” What I mean is this: If I met someone while I was on opiates, they never really knew me. I never really knew them either. Who’s fault is it? Doesn’t matter because it’s still a problem needing to be dealt with.
I am dealing with the problem. but the outcome as yet, is uncertain. No matter what, I can still live in peace because I know nothing will be masked or buried. Problems will be solved, and I will be happy through it all. Funny how I once thought the pink liquid was all I needed to be happy. Makes me laugh now. Real life baby! That’s as high as I’ll ever need to be. So thankful to be where I am- truly!