Burn black hole

I want to say first how exceptional I feel today. It was a little less than a week ago that I sat in the very spot I am sitting now, and crumbled. All the pain, sorrow, loss and regret visited me when I was alone.  I’m alone now, and no, I’m not clean, but I’m cleaner than I was two weeks ago. I woke up on Sunday, and desired the beach.

Do you have any idea how long it has been since I wanted, needed that white sand between my toes? I’ll tell you- it’s been many years. That salt air hit my nostrils, and I knew heaven on earth. I played with my kids , played in the waves like I was a kid, and it felt. I went under the water to let the waves churn me then spit me back out again. I was conscious and thankful for every second me, my wife, and kids had there together.

On the way home the kids slept a deep sleep that only play at the beach brings. Me and my wife actually talked about the future, and all the opportunities now opening. All this only possible because I pulled from within, a desire for a life free from a black hole- a black hole that consumes so much, yet gives so empty. Good God I hope every single person that reads this finds theirs. I don’t care what the vice, just dig deep because we all have it- I truly believe that. You have to find it, and feed it full every day.

I’m burnt badly today and it hurts- can you understand why this brings me unbelievable joy?

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6 responses to “Burn black hole

  1. I love it – I also loved it so much I repressed it!!! Very good read indeed!!

  2. Thank you…What is repressing? Lol, at first I was asking myself, “what is she repressing? feelings?” I get it now, but still don’t know what it is/how to do it.

  3. That’s awesome, and I love the black hole analogy. I am glad that you feel good today, we all need those days to remind us of what we’re reaching for.

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