Why Did I Love Opiates?

I did love you. I loved you with my whole heart. I put every extra minute of my time into acquiring you. I made schedules for you, and planned events around you. I drove thousands of miles, and would have driven to the end of everything for you. I stole from my family, and lied to them too. All I did, I did for you.

You were in my thoughts constantly, and I thought we would be always together. There was a time I was convinced there was no other feeling I wanted than the way you could make me un-feel. You helped me forget about my mom, and my childhood. If only you had not made me forget about my kids too.

Why, after all these years of devotion, do you make me feel so sick to leave you? Are you clenching to my muscles, my stomach, my head because you love me too? I feel your grip, but it’s not as tight as it was yesterday. I’m pulling you off, and it’s about time for me to go.

Slowly, slowly, slowly, I am slipping away from you now. Every time I take less of you, I creep out as you’re sleeping. I walk out the door, and into the sun, but I still think of you. You know I do don’t you? You made me forget my kids.

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4 responses to “Why Did I Love Opiates?

  1. I just cried like I baby for many reasons. 1. you are so great at expressing yourself and I am so proud of you!! you have come such a long way – keep it up. you are helping me and so many others. 2. I can relate to your story in a lot of ways – not every part but many details (especially the planning and lying – I lied to myself over and over and over and everyone around me for those damn opiates. 3. It is never too late to build bridges to reach our loved ones – board by board – sometimes the bridge is built really long because those people require longer time, but you are doing everything right now….you are working on you first. By getting your head right your heart and mind can take you where you need to go and build the bridges properly this times around.

  2. Opiates came into our lives, made us think that we had found that “someone special”, but she never came looking for us, she never stopped her life to go in search of ours, all she did was take, and now that we’re ridding ourselves, she is holding on because this isn’t the way it’s supposed to be for her, we’re not supposed to win.
    We will. We already have!! And no one can take that from you, me, or anyone else!!

    I need to get some boxing gloves!!

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